Those words that “were like feathers” when I last wrote here more than two months ago left me all together soon afterwards. I get quiet when I am confused, tired, and frightened…and struggling with health issues for several months left me so. I wasn’t sure if I had even brought it up here, but just found this post from November. A sad sigh escaped me when I read of my hopefulness to be past it all with the New Year.
I still find myself thinking that way…perhaps after my birthday…perhaps when Spring arrives…perhaps when I find the right practitioner. It feels too daunting to try to catch up here on all of the places my mind and heart and body have gone in the past few months. But here is what I can say…I don’t have an ulcer and most of the scary things have been ruled out. A few more tests and I’ll be able to say that without qualification, I am hoping.
It’s been a long winter, hasn’t it? Even as I type this, the snow is falling again. The difference this time is that the birds are also singing, and there are daffodils encased in icy snow, just waiting for the warmth of the sun to unbow them. Life is such a mystery at times…something I used to be very uncomfortable with. I’ve been learning to make friends with the idea,tho’, through this long, hard winter. No doubt, some of the other things I’ve learned will find their way here in the weeks to come.
My voice is still rather rusty and I often have to clear my throat to get it going. Let’s consider this post a clearing. Soon I hope to be warbling like the small birds I hear in the still-dormant forsythia hedge…or at least simply sharing some of my everyday mysteries.
I’ve missed you!
jenni March 18, 2014 at 2:18 pm
So beautiful all of it, your words and those winter photos are magical, it has been such a long winter though and we all wait patiently for spring. I am so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with health problems, that always makes everything so difficult but you can also learn a lot about yourself in the process. I was so happy to see a post from you again, your posts make me so happy 🙂
Wishing you better health and peaceful days
Kerstin March 18, 2014 at 2:28 pm
We missed you, too, and your beautiful words echoing the season and what’s been going on in your life. Sorry to hear about your health woes and without knowing any details or wishing to pry, have you been checked for gallstones? I am just mentioning this because I once thought I had an ulcer and it took the good doctors three months to diagnose me with gallstones. This kind of thing teaches us patience and perseverance, and, perhaps, trust in our bodies. May spring bring you some answers and lots of sunshine and awakening from the long winter xo
deb March 18, 2014 at 4:03 pm
lovely to see a post here ~ the images from your home & garden are, as always, beautiful and serene.
hope you are feeling better ~
Dori March 21, 2014 at 4:37 pm
And we have missed you, dear Lesley. So lovely to find your post this sunny (but still nippy) spring morning. I am holding tight to the hope you will soon be able to truly relax and enjoy this lovely new spring.
Ellie March 21, 2014 at 10:17 pm
Oh Lesley, I’m sorry! How wretched to feel so unwell for so long, and to not know why. I hope you get some answers **soon** I know from my own family,s experiences just what a Trial this sort of thing is.
Kyce March 24, 2014 at 3:35 am
It is such a treat to find you clearing your voice here…and to look forward to more warbles. Each of these images is a poem. I am glad that you took the space for silence, though you were missed! That quiet, that mystery, that long healing…may you be all the better for all of it.