March 2014

real

deer-waxing-moon-march

I am writing a series of posts this week at Wisteria & Sunshine that share some of what I’ve been discovering on this healing journey. It’s been so rich and deep in the midst of the strain and hardship. And I’ll share a bit of it here when I return from the journey I am taking on roads and through mountains this week to Tennessee for a family gathering.

This photo evokes much of what is in my heart and mind lately, tho’ it may only be obvious to me? I hope to be able to explain in words and pictures in posts to come. But it is harder work than I thought it would be…to bring what is inside and perhaps only a feeling or quick glimpse…outside of me into solid words and phrases.

“During midlife, the desire to be real to ourselves, which comes from our soul, contributes to the crises we unconsciously create when we do not consciously acknowledge that we do not feel vital and authentic. There is an internal impetus to become a whole person and when we spend time in the metaphorical forest and the actual forest or natural world, we are exposed to the possibility of retrieval and growth of our instinctual nature, our spiritual connection with Nature, and our sense of oneness with the universe.”

-Jean Shinoda Bolen

Crossing to Avalon

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the long winter

bigmeadowsdeer .

winterdoor .

doorcurtainheart .

snowsunset .

snowbirds .

wingcurve .

couchcorner .

snowterrace .

snowypath

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Those words that “were like feathers” when I last wrote here more than two months ago left me all together soon afterwards. I get quiet when I am confused, tired, and frightened…and struggling with health issues for several months left me so. I wasn’t sure if I had even brought it up here, but just found this post from November. A sad sigh escaped me when I read of my hopefulness to be past it all with the New Year.

I still find myself thinking that way…perhaps after my birthday…perhaps when Spring arrives…perhaps when I find the right practitioner. It feels too daunting to try to catch up here on all of the places my mind and heart and body have gone in the past few months. But here is what I can say…I don’t have an ulcer and most of the scary things have been ruled out. A few more tests and I’ll be able to say that without qualification, I am hoping.

It’s been a long winter, hasn’t it? Even as I type this, the snow is falling again. The difference this time is that the birds are also singing, and there are daffodils encased in icy snow, just waiting for the warmth of the sun to unbow them. Life is such a mystery at times…something I used to be very uncomfortable with. I’ve been learning to make friends with the idea,tho’, through this long, hard winter. No doubt, some of the other things I’ve learned will find their way here in the weeks to come.

My voice is still rather rusty and I often have to clear my throat to get it going. Let’s consider this post a clearing. Soon I hope to be warbling like the small birds I hear in the still-dormant forsythia hedge…or at least simply sharing some of my everyday mysteries.

I’ve missed you!