Last evening, I was looking for a poem to express recent days…knowing that April has been a changeable month throughout the ages. And knowing that someone must have described the many moods of April earth and skies in words that would also describe the recent moods of my heart.
The April rain, the April rain,
Comes slanting down in fitful showers,
Then from the furrow shoots the grain,
And banks are fledged with nestling flowers;
And in grey shaw and woodland bowers
The cuckoo through the April rain
Calls once again.
The April sun, the April sun,
Glints through the rain in fitful splendour,
And in grey shaw and woodland dun
The little leaves spring forth and tender
Their infant hands, yet weak and slender,
For warmth towards the April sun,
One after one.
And between shower and shine hath birth
The rainbow’s evanescent glory;
Heaven’s light that breaks on mists of earth!
Frail symbol of our human story,
It flowers through showers where, looming hoary,
The rain-clouds flash with April mirth,
Like Life on earth.
Mathilde Blind
I love the words she gave to me, some new, some familiar….fledged,
nestling, grey shaw, woodland dun, fitful splendour and looming hoary.
But I especially love the reminder that all this light and dark
is “like Life on earth”.
It is easy to forget that life is that dappled mixture when we are lulled
by lovely days or beguiled by plans and expectations. Just after I closed
my online shop and canceled my Spring shows at the end of March, I began
to make a new pattern for our days with outings in town for my mother’s
delight and the shifting of rooms in our home and many ideas and
visions for the next six months….for that was the time-frame we
we were given for my mother’s wait for her assisted-living
apartment.
So imagine my surprise when, not a month into our new rhythm, we
received word that an apartment was ready for my mom to see…and
we will be seeing it the day after tomorrow. It was as tho’ I stepped into
an unseen hole as I was taking a brisk walk in one of our meadows.
April, April,
Laugh thy girlish laughter;
Then, the moment after,
Weep thy girlish tears!
April, that mine ears Like a lover greetest,
If I tell thee, sweetest,
All my hopes and fears,
April, April,
Laugh thy golden laughter,
But, the moment after,
Weep thy golden tears!
-William Watson
It may or may not be the right apartment, the right time, the right
decision…there is much to consider. And I am discovering that uncertainty
is a hard place from which to navigate. But the poets are helping me
through, and dear friends and loving family and the “shower
and shine” of Spring itself.
And it feels like the perfect time to focus on all that is certain
and heartening in my life…such as the fact that the third anniversary
of The Bower will be here in exactly a week. Another
“blogiversary“…this time celebrated with a gift.
This is a bag made by my friend Myra, and I have filled
it with anything and everything I could find already made
on my studio shelves…a Ribbony Notebook, Bookish Missives, Porcelain Notes,
Notes on Books and Readers, a Small Useful Book, Book Leaves, several
greeting cards, a Book Garland, my Peaceful Ducks bookplates, a pot of paste…
and, I hope, a small portion of the pleasure and gratitude I feel for what
we share here.
If you would like to have a chance to receive the Stationery
Satchel, please leave me a comment before midnight
on April 29th. On the 30th, I will pick a name and post
a little post to share the good news.
I so look forward to reading your comments,
and wish you good companionship through the
rain and sun of the rest of lovely April.
PS I am sorry for the problems with the formatting of my post! Blogger has been very troublesome to work with lately, and I have spent too many hours this morning trying to make it look just so.