all things flow…

“No single thing abides, but all things flow”


I am taking comfort in this view, one that Gladys Taber shared when she was writing about the arrival of spring in one of her Stillmeadow books. We recognize it in the circling of the seasons, this flow…not so easily within our selves. At first glance, my life looks anything but flowing lately. It often feels sputtering and muddled to me, not at all flowing. But if I take a longer view, I can see that none of my muddles and sputterings have abided…nor the joys and times of certainty…but that all of it, taken as a whole, is a flow.

It is very much like the weather, I suppose. We look forward to spring looking and feeling a certain way, but of course, it may not unfold that way. Yet…it is spring! And it will come around again a year (or so) from now in the flowing of the seasons. My sixtieth birthday was very lovely, but I weighted it with too many expectations…that I would have so much sorted out by the time it appeared. Everything that wasn’t sorted out and that has happened since-my mom’s sweet car breaking down…a biopsy on a mole…getting behind in my watercolor class…still thinking about cake (wasn’t it pretty?) when I want to be happy with my nourishing, pared down meals…intending to have all my rhythms and routines nicely arranged but not actually getting there, yet. And so on. I am up and down hourly and daily, but again, with a long view, I am flowing.

Do you do this, too? My dreams are of the same flavor, I am always trying to get from one place to another and finding it a challenge. At least, the challenges have lessened. I used to find myself at the bottom of a staircase that I could never fit in, on, through. Now, the staircases are roomy and inviting, but there are still obstacles further on. I am encouraged by this progress over the years, tho’, and will try to remember more often that I make progress in my waking life, too, with each little step I take…to repair the car (or-sob!-get a new one)…make yet another doctor’s appointment…lure myself back to my painting spot…and put those rhythms down on paper finally-or accept that that’s just not my style. We’ll see.

One of those longed-for rhythms is posting here. I’ve promised to be more consistent with it, without actually managing it. But here I am today. And every fortnight or so, I hope to be here in the future. From the emails and notes I receive now and then, I know there is a hunger for glimpses of older women’s lives…our dear, everyday lives. Another one of those expectations I had was that my menopause journey would be over by now, that I would have crossed a threshold into vibrant, confident days after the wonder and travail of the past many years, that it would make for steadiness in all parts of my life. Well, I am still on that threshold, and anything but steady, but there is plenty life to be lived and relished. I’ll try to share about mine more often.

And perhaps it’s not just the elderwoman piece, but that I am woman with hopes and fears, insights and visions, the ordinary and the not-so-ordinary…but I struggle to bring them into being. I am not an expert or particularly skilled in something that many are waiting in line to share in, just a woman who found that putting words and pictures together many years ago satisfied something in myself and enough others that I keep blogging, making lovely places out of pixels and paper, baring my soul or just my missing Vera after seven seasons with her, turning to my kindred spirits out there in the world as we navigate this brave, new world…erractically and imperfectly…but with love, that I send along with the clicking of “publish.”

P.S. The comment link is at the top of the post, please use it if you feel drawn to…comments are so welcome to me. Or share with a friend, pin to your boards…

belated September greetings…

…and simple ones, at that. I don’t really know why, but I feel sluggish in mind and body since returning from my days near the sea. So much simple loveliness during those days and in the busy weeks since returning. Yet the gentle but constant press of to-dos, coupled with the unrelenting heat seem to have settled a veil of heaviness over me. Nor do I feel like plumbing the depths of it. So I just keep taking the next small step in front of me, rest often and wait for the weather to change…outside my window and inside of me.

For now, wallpapers. : ) In the mood of the September that is right around the corner for those of us still sweltering. A September of cool breezes, layers and boots to don, and preparations to be made.

In the next few months, I am going to be deepening with the idea of Autumn as a time of smoothing the way (in and amongst its own particular beauty and being, of course!) for the Winter stillness to come. And the early Winter festivities. Simplicity is the guiding star, as always, and we’ve begun to follow it at Wisteria & Sunshine. The photo I chose for the wallpapers is fitting, I realize now, as we are focusing on everything papery in September…files, systems, correspondence, books and more. This sort of clearing work is both lightening and enlightening and I am welcoming the peace it is slowly bringing to my home and spirit…

Speaking of paper, in case you’ve missed the news I’ve shared here and there, two printable/instant downloads are now in my shop. They are useful and beautiful offerings that fit most budgets and are in your possession within minutes. I am so looking forward to creating more soon, a sort-of storehouse of goodness that feels a part of the season that is so near.

Enjoy the days as best you can, feel the quiet and wisdom the waning of the moon offers, and leave me a comment to tell me what you would most like me to share here in the future. I continue to struggle with blogging, tho’ I value it so much. It is one of the many ingredients of life and work that I will be holding and pondering when I retire to one of our little upstairs bedrooms in a few days for a solitary, new moon retreat.