…about the year past as the present one continues to falter and flow.
I can say with gladness that my mom is safe and happy, that we all continue
to love and appreciate each other, and that we have enormous amounts of
things to be thankful for (and are!). And tho’ I continue to feel unsettled,
I am settling into that feeling and trying to go with it.
Yesterday I had a day at home to myself (well, myself and two crews of
workman-one outside the front door and the other under the kitchen floor)
because my deario took mom and boy into town. When I wasn’t setting my
studio back to rights, I spent some time with my calendar and notebooks.
I didn’t make much progress, but it felt good just to have them spread
about me…and to have my thoughts spread about me, too, all to myself
for a little while.
I found myself sitting in my old, cosy high-backed chair by the kitchen
window with the bird feeder just outside. This chair used to be my perch,
my place, the Queen’s chair, but now it is my mom’s kitchen seat and I am
truly glad for her to have it…but I do miss it sometimes, and will try to
spend more time there when Mom is napping or otherwise engaged.
I did rather alot of wandering about the house, sitting in our old bedroom
for a bit (which also became my mom’s when she moved in last Christmas),
standing in my newly tidy studio
and picturing what it will be like when I
can get to it through the house and won’t need to walk outside, looking
around our current tiny upstairs bedroom and wondering if I will be ready
to leave it when my mom’s little wing is finished in a few weeks and our
rooms and spots shift around again.
There’s been quite a Goldilocks feel to the past year…trying out new
chairs and beds and routines and mental spaces and so much more…
looking for the ones that are “just right”. Sometimes even finding them…
tho’ not always for long. But I am learning to go with that. And when
I needed to find a new place for my beloved notebooks yesterday, and
couldn’t find a shelf or drawer that sufficed, I noticed the empty basket
that I had brought in from my studio (an empty basket! A wonder!)
and knew it to be the perfect home. Wherever my bedroom might be,
whichever seat I curl up in in the kitchen, wherever my mom’s needs
might take me, my basket of books can go with me.
Who knows? I might even get some planning done…I might even
finish all the little details and corners here are that are patiently
awaiting my attention (my laptop could fit nicely in my basket, too).
Life has been a bit rocky lately, but seems to be smoothing out for
the moment. I want to find more time to write here and at my other
blogs…oh for a container for our hours as easily
found as my basket, yes?
A Happy February to you….